The “Real World Breakup Advice” is a series of articles where I publish reader-submitted articles about the breakup scenarios they’re facing with an ex girlfriend. For privacy reasons, the names of the people involved have been changed.
The following email was submitted by “Greg,” a website reader who was seeking some advice…
Reader’s Question: “Cancel The Date?”
“It’s been 2 months (exactly) since the breakup, and although I’ve given my ex space, at no point have we gone more than 3 weeks without communicating – it’s usually via text. About once per week. There have been a couple times when she has initiated it – and there have been times when I did. During that time I’ve traveled a fair bit and done a little dating, but made very few updates to my Facebook and definitely didn’t give my ex any indication I was out enjoying myself.
First of all, big thanks to Greg for allowing me to publish his question and my answer. Now, what was my advice to Greg regarding his situation? Well, I responded with the following…
My Response: “Don’t Talk Romance With Her”
“Hi Greg, thanks for your question… hopefully I can give you a bit of advice.
To begin with, I wouldn’t suggest canceling the date you have planned with your ex. But, with that said, I also wouldn’t spend all night talking about your relationship and the difficulties you faced, the possibility of getting back together, and so forth.
Instead, I’d use the time together with her to just have fun, make light-hearted casual conversation, and basically just show her all the positive characteristics you possess that she initially fell in love with. If she brings up the topic of your breakup or getting back together, then you can share a few thoughts about how you are sorry and that you really did love her very much etc. But try your best not to turn the whole evening into one big long serious chat about your relationship.
I would suggest that you not give off the impression that you’re heartbroken about the breakup or that you’re having trouble dealing with being apart. You want your ex to know you loved her very much, sure, but you also want her to know that she’s made a mistake letting you go… and the only way to do that is to show her that you’re a confident alpha male with lots of other romantic options that won’t have any problem replacing her if she decides to move on. (That may not be entirely true, but it’s the only way you’ll be able to really make her think long and hard about whether she’s made the right choice breaking up with you.)
Good luck, Greg — I’ll be rooting for you!”
So, do you agree with my advice to Greg? Any further thoughts about how he should handle the situation with his ex? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Keep your eyes peeled for Episode 2 of the Breakup Advice series coming soon!